Be Like

whenever there is something related to family, my reactions are mostly tears.
I realized that there is no perfect family.
I know that my family is not perfect.
There were a lot of pains from the past.
I couldn't change it. I couldn't forget it. I couldn't pretend that I don't know.
Pain(s). Yes.

From my side, the happy side from the past is covered by the sadness. By my fears also.
From what people say, I got a trauma by the past.

Sometimes, I want to be like the other families.
They watch movies in cinema. They have a meal at restaurant. They travel to a beautiful places and collect a lot of photos. Weekend is the time for hanging out.

Sometimes. I mean, a lot of times.

I want to be like the other daughters.
Be close with their fathers. Be loved by older brother.

I sometimes wish that I were not my self right now.

I know that a lot of people also sometimes have the same wish as mine.
in the end, I know that is impossible.

I need to face the life. No matter how hard it is.
Bible says,

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philipians 4:13, KJV)

I know. I know that God will not let me in such a situation unless He knows that I can face through it. It makes me wait. I am waiting of the end of the situation.Maybe, I am still strong enough to face it.

So, what?
I don't want to be such a hypocrite by saying that I am okay.
But I did. I said I am okay.

Well..
I pray that my family becomes family like when I was child. But it is nonsense.
I might be don't know what was happening at that time while I could smile happily.

Now that I grow, I know everything has its own problem.
Dreaming is not enough. What should I do then?
I don't know..

I have made a stereotype of happy family.
Well, still I want to be like them. The one which I categorized as happy family.

A THOUGHT.

Tiara

me vs personality

"Karena wanita ingin dimengerti, lewat tutur lembut dan lagu-lagu. Manjakan dian, dengan kasih sayang...."

Women.... Seem so egoistic. The fact is... Yeah, it is true.
Women needs to be spoiled, to be loved wholeheartedly.
They are sensitive.
Every simple thing will make them cry. Happiness, sadness... All that stuff..
Egoistic. That's true.
Even women themself are not able to understand why, what is happening in their thoughts, or hearts, or souls.
Short after crying, they wil be confused.
What the hell is happening??
Women want to be number one.
They want to be prioritized, ome after another.
Problems are what they make.
A small thing becomes bigger in a minute.
Could you understand women's feeling??
Nope, it is hard.
They ask you to understand meanwhile it is also hard for them to understand themself.
What is going on?? Let's see...




Am I fair by using 'they'?
Maybe, it should be 'I'.... 😌😌😌