Us, Please?

Aku, not a somebody nor someone.
Aku, a small nobody with a grateful heart
Aku, an ordinary creature yet getting an amazing blessing
Aku, not a celebrity nor a princess

Kamu, somebody and someone at the same time
Kamu, a kindhearted someone
Kamu, a blessing for an ordinary creature
Kamu, well-known and famous
Kamu, a treasure for a poor ones

Aku, not a somebody nor someone
Kamu, somebody and someone
May I wish "kamu" and "aku" become kita?
Can they be us, please?

生日快乐！Happy birthday!

今天，二零一七年七月二十五号，是我第二十二的生日

今天也是我第一次我一个人过的生日.

以前，每年虽然没有什么生日庆祝活动，我妈会买一个小蛋糕然后我们一起唱生日歌和许愿 。

这个四年多了，我男朋友给我一个可爱蛋糕，一些小礼物和一个每得一天。

今年，今天，什么都没有。

家人，亲爱的男朋友都很远。

一边想哭，一边我觉得我很棒。

因为我不是小孩了，二十二岁了。那个蛋糕，礼物，不是很重要的事了。

从今年以后我是一个大人了，不可以因为每有礼物然后哭。

我要认真作我的论文，认真工作说一不会被人瞧不起。

哎呀，不管怎么说我还是想哭啊。哈哈。真好笑。

TIARA，生日快乐！不要爱哭了！你很勇敢！要开心，要加油！

my 18th birthday cake!

Today, July 25 2017 is my twenty-second birthday. Today is also my first time celebrating birthday all by myself (only). In the past, although no birthday party, my mom would buy me a small birthday cake then made a wish. For the past 4 years, my boyfriend would also give me a cute birthday cake, small present and a beautiful day together.

This year, today, none of those things are there. No cake, no presents, no family and my dear boyfriend are that faaaaraway. In one side I want to cry, yet in the other hand I think I am really great because I am not a child anymore, -22years already!- Cake and all that stuff are not important, really.

Start from this year, I will be more maturer who is not supposed to cry over a cake and presents. I need to seriously finish my final paper, do my work seriously so that people won’t look down uponn me.......

Oh, after all the encouragement, I still wanna shed my tears. Lol.

TIARA, happy birthday! Don’t be a crybaby because you are braver than yesterday. You have to be happy. Keep spirited!

Enjoy || The Diary of a Stranger (11)

Months went by and here I am sitting in the middle of the corner
In the exact same spot as the first day I saw your smiling eyes.

Months went by and here I am drinking the same cup of coffee
The same drink as the first glance I had that day

Months went by and I couldn't forget the moment you called my name
Months went by to make me realize that's really ONLY an impossible dream

Here I am, staring at your smile
enjoying the feeling of being a super stranger.

Fate decides the time we are not (strangers).

Will they?

now ... currently...
I am confused of what I am doing in my life.

I am living well but my inside thoughts are not.
All that wild thoughts came to my mind over and over.

They would leave me, I think.
They would hate me, I think.
They would blame me, I think
They don't need me, I think.
They don't love me, I think.
They..................

Would they?
Will they?

I am living in fear.
Fear of being left, fear of being hated.
I am living in tears.
I am living in darkness.
I am living with negative thoughts inside me.

Sorry, I couldn't think of anything positive.
Sorry, I couldn't let go of those wild thoughts.
Sorry.

I don't want to be like this any far.
I want to move forward.

Help me.


Sincerely,
the past

对不起 || Sorry.... || The Diary of a Stranger (10)

我的天啊！My goodness!
我听错了吗？你真的叫我吗？Did I hear it wrong? Did you really call my name?
你是真真的叫我名字吗？Did you really call my name ?
你是真真的对我笑吗？Did you really smile at me？
不可能吧....  It can't be true

我太开心了  I am too happy
开心到不能看你眼睛 Till the point I cannot look into your eyes
不行不行 It's not okay
太不可能了 It's too imposible
一定是梦，对，一定是梦 It must be a dream only, yes, it must be a dream

可是你还在我面前 But you are still in front of me
你眼睛笑 With your eyes smiling
不行  It can't be.

对不起哦 Sorry
我不会相信  I couldn't believe
对不起我跑了  Sorry, I ran
我的心还没准备好 I am not well prepared to see you
因为我习惯了只当陌生人 Because I am used to be only a stranger
对不起...

再见 || Good Bye || The Diary of a Stranger (9)

我还在， 我还是陌生人  I am here, still a stranger

你也还在，你也还是陌生人  You are also here, still a stranger, as well

每个人还在， 每个人还不在乎 Everyone's here, and still not care

我想放弃了 I want to give up

我觉得够了 I think it's enough

我不能继续这样  I cannot continue to be like this anymore

太累了， 我真的很累  too tired, I am really tired

一直看你笑得那么开心  Keep on seeing you laugh that happy

而不是我让你开心的 Sadly, it's not me making you happy

我心疼了 My heart is hurt

我不要了，我不要 I don't want, no more

因为我们永远都是陌生人 Because we will remain as stranger, forever

从今天开始，我要忘掉你了 Start from today, I want to forget you

再见。。。Good bye

再见，陌生人。。。。。Good bye, stranger

reflection

when your partner starts to ignore you
when your partner chooses to tell his/her problem to someone else rather than to you
when your partner doesn't pay attention to what you said
when your partner doesn't put you at his/her priorities anymore
when your partner doesn't tell you about his/her day anymore
when your partner starts to.....
when your partner.....
when....
when.... 


think of those situations. You will say that your partner has something wrong. But, are you really sure? You might be say that your partner has an affair or he/she doesn't love you anymore. Once again, are you sure? Can't you think of the other possibilities?

It might be YOU. yes, YOU are the problem. The problem is in yourself.
You have something wrong that made your partner does those kind of action.
It might be you, who made him/her can't feel comfortable anymore.
Maybe you don't realize that you changed.
Maybe she/he hides something that she/he won't you to know.
Maybe she/he has painful memory of past that made him/her suddenly sad.
Maybe she/he has his/her own interpersonal conflict.
Maybe she/he couldn't do everything like you expected from him/her.
Maybe she/he doesn't like some of your actions, pretends to like it, but now can stand it anymore.

There are a lot of possibilities. Think about that. Have some kind of reflection.

Yes, before judge someone is doing bad, observe yourself first.