Entah || The Diary of a Stranger (14)

Sudah dua tahun berlalu, hampir aku melupakaan perasaan asing ini
Sudah puluhan bulan berlalu, tak ingat lagi rasanya menjadi seseorang yang asing
Sudah tak terhitung wajah tersenyum yang kutemui, namun masih merasa ada yang hilang

Hari ini, semuanya kembali
Kembali datang lagi, perasaan asing dan menjadi orang asing bagimu
Bersyukur pernah lepas dari semua itu, selama dua tahun

Namun hari ini aku kembali merasakan semuanya
Persis ketika kali pertama aku menulis rangkaian cerita asing ini

Dan aku berbahagia bisa kembali menemui rasa itu
Dan bisa menemui kamu, dengan senyummu yang semakin terasa asing
Walau masih manis senyum itu, namun tidak kurasakan tenang dalam tatapan matamu

Kenapa?
Pertanyaan, lagi
Aku tidak suka pertanyaan, karena tidak pernah mendapat jawaban yang kuinginkan

Kenapa?
Aku tidak tahu, aku tidak bisa menjawabnya

Yang aku tahu, kamu semakin asing
Dan aku merasa lebih baik begini
Dari sudut ruangan melihatmu sebagai orang asing

Kenapa?
Entah.

When is the Right Time?

Today isn't the day, tomorrow either. Then, when?
Yesterday wasn't the right time, last Tuesday either. Then, when?

Do I need to wait for the right time?
Will there be someone who let me know?
Will you? Will she? Will he? Will they?

Tick, tock... the clock is ticking.
Should I let myself go? Shall today be the last day?
Time never stops. Even a second could change everything.
What about the second I write these words of uncertainty?

How can I be sure and not let go?
What should I do to let my soul be at ease?
Who can make me relax?
When is the time of those uncertainties?
Where is the place to be calm?

WHY DO I EVEN ASK? There is no answer.

me when gabut: a lot of uncertainties and questions.

January 22nd, 2020

How Should I Cry?

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Blank, cause I deleted what I've written previously. I am relieved by writing what I felt so I didn't have any reason to share those feelings (and how should I cry). But I like the title so I posted it. :)

Nobody said it was #easy

There are times I need nobody. There are times I need to be alone, yes, all by myself. Why? I am tired of all the fakeness, even of me being so #fake. Why can't I be myself, expressing the real me? y tho? y? y? y? ? I have to smile when I'm in the mood of shedding my tears. I have to look happy when I feel down.

#nobodysaiditwaseasy.

It's truely not easy to be part of this society. I have to mind other people's feelings when I'm actually in my weakest time. How will I survive?

This tires me.

The solution is : living a solitude life.

Prepare boxes of instant noodle, boxes of teabags and instant coffee. Prepare some books to keep you entertained. Have a strong connetion of Wi-Fi will help, as well. When bored of instant noodle, order GoFood.

Seems easy. Don't need to interact with others. While sometimes peeping at their Instagram stories to know what they are up to currently.

Not sure, tho.. That seems to help. But, no. I am still part of this cruel society. Keep being alive, dude! 加油，你一定可以的。。

Let's face the reality!

Manis yang Asing || The Diary of a Stranger (13)

Termenung lagi aku, dengan suhu ruangan yang membekukan gerak jari
Dengan secangkir kopi yang tiada mengenal kata manis
Layaknya aku melihat senyum manismu
Namun tiada sebanding dengan kopi yang ku minum hingga tetes terakhir

Tidak, aku sedang tidak berusaha berkata manis
Ku ingin memperhalus keadaan ini, keadaan yang asing ini
Biarkan aku menikmati kemanisan ini sejenak saja

Tahukah kamu, menjadi asing itu melelahkan?

Kopi yang pahit membuatku terjaga lebih lama
Itu pun berarti memandangimu lebih lama
Itu pun menyebabkan aku lelah

Biar manis sejenak.
Biar asing terlupakan, sejenak.

Akan datang masa, akan datang hari
Aku tak asing lagi, kita tak asing lagi

Akan datang waktu,
Kisah kita manis, dengan takaran manis yang menghapus keasingan ini.

Akan datang saatnya.

Let’s Fight The Distance

To be in a long distance relationship (LDR) is a common thing for youngster nowadays. Well, this kind of relationship is actually not only happened to couples but also for family members. In the past, we got used to be in the same area even in the house but now we have to adapt with the situation. After all, one big question for those who are in LDR is how to have a good LDR?

Here are some tips that hopefully may encourage your relationship.

1. Communicate regularly

In the era of technology, communication is easy for everyone. Make use of it. You can us

either messenger or video call application. Greet each other regularly to make your

beloved ones know that she/he is special. Although you are really busy, have some

minutes to tell him/her that you are doing well.

2. Avoid excessive communication

Though communication is important, don’t be over. You don’t really have to

communicate 12 hours a day. You also don’t need to have a looooong conversation to

compensate the time you are apart. One day, you would get tired of talking to each other

because there is nothing special on it.

3. Trust each other

Trust is a must in a relationship. How will your relationship be happy when you both

don’t trust each other? Although you can’t fully monitor his/her activities, you need to put

trust on him/her. One way to build trust is being open each other. Tell him/her the

important things that you think she/he should know.

4. Make visits

For those that are only separated by some miles, try to make visit each other. Plan your

visit so that you two will have a quality time. However, a surprise visit is recommended

because it will be memorable.

5. Give surprise

As said above, a surprise is recommended. You don’t really need much money to give

surprise. The important thing is the moment. Writing a song or poem about your

relationship is sweet. However, don’t do the same thing in sequence. Make some

improvement in every surprise.

6. Do things together

You don’t have to be physically close to do things together. Watching the same movie in

the same time may be a good choice. Doing some activities together will make you feel

close.

7. Set goal

Make a plan with each other. You have to know the estimated times you guys will be

apart and the goal of your relationship. It is a must for you to be on the same page and

have same goals with him/her. Even you are not living in the same time zone, both of you

have already known what to do with the future of your relationship.

Try these tips and have a lovely LDR!

Comfort Zone || The Diary of a Stranger (12)

Terdiam lagi aku, yang kembali ditemani rintik hujan di luar sana
Dengan kopi yang tak lagi sama, semakin pahit.
Layaknya aku yang mengenang waktu yang kembali terlewatkan.
Empat bulan ku lalui dengan kamu yang masih selalu ku pandangi,
Dengan pandangan memuja, namun...... asing

Asing, kau yang tak pernah membalas tatapanku
Asing, kau yang tetap bahagia dengan duniamu
yang mungkin tak akan pernah libatku aku sebagai salah satu pemerannya.

Terhenyak lagi aku, teringat waktu yang ku lalui.
Bukan sebagai orang yang berarti di hidupmu.
Ini menyenangkan, melihat senyummu dari kejauhan.
Ini menenangkan, mendengar samar suara tawamu.

Samar, jauh, dan... asing.
Bolehkah aku hadir di hidupmu, lagi?

Pertanyaan untuk diriku sendiri : siapkah aku?
Tidakkah aku akan menghindar darimu, seperti kala itu?

Akupun ragu, dan tak punya jawaban yang pasti.

Well, I choose to stay here. in my comfort zone. of being a stranger.